


Moving On

by shygirlbobby



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shygirlbobby/pseuds/shygirlbobby
Summary: This is a repost of my work on Asianfanfics.It's made when I was 15ish, with no beta.This is just me cataloguing my works. It's not even in season anymore (ㅠㅠ).
Relationships: Cho Kyuhyun/Kim Ryeowook, Cho Kyuhyun/Lee Sungmin, Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Lee Sungmin, Kim Youngwoon | Kangin/Park Jungsoo | Leeteuk
Kudos: 2





	Moving On

~Ryeowook~

“He can’t live without me  
As I can’t live without him

But as time goes by  
I'm no longer blind to see

I love him forever, forever is over  
So let me go and set me free  
So that I can move on”

You are standing at the tip of your life. And you had seen things; beautiful things, innocent things. Hurtful things. 

In front of you is a the beautiful view of dense forest and waterfall, piles of rocks, and from afar there are mountains, covering up half rising sun. 

You are here. After years since childhood, this is the first time you come back. It made you nostalgic; you’ll stand there, sight-seeing, allowing yourself to forget and stay in the moment, like time was frozen still. Only now, you could not turn back.

  
Whatever happen, you won't return.

You froze as the memories of him flashed your mind like a never ending sick joke . Your mind travelled back to the past as you began to realise how long it had been since that time.

-

Life’s never easy. You were no exception.

You lived at the streets, where all bad things of the world landed. You lived a pathetic life back then, you don't even have the ability to steal well.

Your mother died while giving birth to you, and you always wondered what happened to your father to make him threw you to the streets the moment you reach seven.

It didn’t matter, though. All you knew was that you were on your own, and your life depended on how fast you are, how talented you are, on stealing.

But you met him.

Of course, him. Cho Kyuhyun, he introduced himself to you, and you quickly recognise him as the rumoured richest boy in town. His small suit was evidently expensive, his shoes were shiny and the red ribbons around his neck was charming on him. You looked at yourself and you never felt more embarrassed.

He handed you a caramel lollipop, smiling. _You’re cute_ , you remember him saying, and he asked for your name.

You took the candy since you were so hungry, but you just shook your head at his last question. You told him that you don’t know.

He seemed surprised, but he still smiled. _I’ll make you mine_ , he said firmly as he pull out a ring from his small finger, placing it to your fourth finger. It was beautiful, the ring, you clearly remembered gaping at it the second it slipped on finger. He grabbed your hand and dragged you to his car, meeting both of his parents. He introduced you right away and he said that he wanted to keep you.

His parents told him it’s not good to bring outsider inside the house, but they on the contrary they didn’t argue much. Kyuhyun took your hand and intertwined your fingers together firmly.

 _I’ll named him Ryeowook_ , he said.

Since then, you’re the property of Cho Kyuhyun residence.

-

You giggled quietly, as you recall how silly you two had been.

He made you do things, from sleeping together until staying up late to play games. You were so happy. He taught you how to sing, how to count, how to read. You two took turns to sing each other lullaby, reading bedtime stories, and so much more that it would take you hours to remember clearly.

But you always loved how he would stare at you before sleeping, the way those black orbs sincerely see through you and said, “I love you Wookie, good night,” and made you stay awake for a couple more hours of embarrassment.

His parents soon considered you as family, giving you clothes and full meals, and you felt like you were in heaven. You didn’t get your own room, though, mostly because Kyuhyun refused to let you have one. His parents compromised with a double bed instead. 

But you didn't mind.

Being with Kyuhyun itself is the best thing of all.

If only you could tell him that.

-

You were 19 and he was 18 when he suddenly acquire a new friend. Lee Sungmin was his name; he has those sparkling animated eyes and bunny smile, cute and adorable, but you couldn’t help but feel the rush of jealousy filling you when Kyuhyun smiled at him.

You wanted to tell him to back off, to tell him that Kyuhyun is yours.

But you couldn’t, could you? Because though you’re his, he was never yours.

You rolled your eyes at the thought. Yes, of course, he had his claim on you, never the other way around. You wondered, so badly, what could happen if the circumstances isn’t the way it is. What if your parents were alive, and had raised you properly? What if you meet Kyuhyun like any other kids at school?

But then you stop imagining, since you know, you might never met him if your situation had been any better. So you kept quiet as you refreshed your memories, while your eyes focused on the sky that is still grey and yours hands busy rubbing each other.

Lee Sungmin got really attached with Kyuhyun in no time, and you were defenceless against the cuddly and sweet moments between them. You grew tired of all the stuff you saw them doing, but you couldn’t help it since it is not your right to decide anything.

You never complained, because after Lee Sungmin went home, Kyuhyun always look after you and apologise about how he busy he was. You would soon be your usual self in front of him because you realised, you could never stay angry at him.

-

He started to neglect little things he promised; to compose music together, to go out for dinner—you starved yourself when he forgot about it—, to accompany you cooking the new recipes. He apologise ever so frantically, telling you that he has work to do from school, or that he made an appointment with other friends. Kyuhyun turned and took you for granted, yet you always smile and bear it. 

It was okay. 

He always returned to you. And as long as he do so, you don’t mind much. So you kept telling yourself that.

As long as he returned.

But turns out _everything has an end_.

-

He was not there at the anniversary of your first meeting; _your_ birthday party, which date _he_ had decided for you. He always there before, he never missed it. But now that he got new friends, you couldn’t really think straight anymore. He has a life, you force yourself to think like that, and you must move on. You simply must.

But how could you?

Just by remembering his smile, you felt like crying.

Suddenly, life gets harder.

Suddenly, it felt... Like it’s _hard to breathe._

-

So now you stand, aimlessly, suffering.

Despite this fresh air right from the highland, you still felt suffocated. The more you tried to forget all your feelings toward him, the more you realised that you were scared of losing him.

You always said that it was okay, only if he returned. If he returned, nothing else matters.

_So why are you crying?_

All day you had been thinking, talking to friends, searching, with nothing to gain. You are choking back sobs; feeling paralysed as memories came rushing back to you with a whirlwind of heartbreak.

Maybe it was because you thought about it too much, when he isn’t leaving you at all? Or maybe it was the fact that you are too tired of waiting, that you used up all your strength to convince yourself a certain Cho Kyuhyun love you back.

What sin had you committed that you need to be punished this way?

But the sobs that escape your lips now weren't just for him, weren't just for lost memories of ‘I love you’s and laughter, happiness and smiles. You went to the deep end; imagining him getting too far from you had drove you nuts.

It's going to be alright, you thought sarcastically, and started laughing.  
  
Unstoppable.

Painful.

Unbearable.

Your cheeks are glistening with tears, and your stomach hurts. You thought you’re going to die from lack of oxygen, oh, how much you wish you would.

_Cho Kyuhyun’s leaving you._

You laugh harder.

-

The phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Wookie, I want to tell you that I won’t be able to come back home for a few days. We got to rush for the project. Can we postpone our movie night?”

You force yourself to laugh. “Okay, no problem.”

“Okay then, see you later?”

“Kyuhyun-ah,” you said.

“Yes?”

“I really love you. I always do.”

“Eh...? What do you-”

“Goodbye.”

“Wait, Wookie-”

You cut the line.

You love him forever, forever is over.

You tried took out the ring out of your finger, breaking down crying from doing so. Once you realised you won't be able to do it, you stop your desperate tries and just stared at it.

You just wanted to be his for the rest of your life.

You gambled your all for him, and you lose. You stared at the view in front of you. Birds chirping down the hill, welcoming the rising sun. You stared, at the huge arrangement of rocks, of the waterfall, and the never ending green.

“Cho Kyuhyun, I love you.”

You took a step forward, and you moved on.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of my work on Asianfanfics.  
> It's made when I was 15ish, with no beta.  
> This is just me cataloguing my works. It's not even in season anymore (ㅠㅠ).


End file.
